:Japan )

In response to Mr. Knuth’s call, here are my submissions:

• tech vex
• tech tantrum

If they aren’t self explanatory, I’ve failed.

It’s been a long time, again. By now I think everyone knows that’s my MO. No use in apologizing.

I write because a little over three minutes ago I became a proud new owner! I made my last payment to the Sallie Mae piper and tomorrow I will be the new owner of a brand-new debt free life!! Woohoo!! Thanks Dad for being such a stickler for watching one’s debt. Now should I follow my American heritage and think of what insanely expensive luxury item I could put myself in debt with next? Not on your life you MBNA / Bank of America blood-suckers.

Went to see the Da Vinci Code last Friday and it didn’t live down my expectations. Sure it was a little entertaining to see how the guy unwound his puzzle but just like one other story of his that I actually read, it was way too predictable. I never read the book The Da Vinci Code but I did happen to inherit another book of Brown’s, Digital Fortress, when I moved into my current residence. It’s another mystery/suspense like story only this time involving cryptography, the NSA, and big powerful computers. Digital Fortress also had brilliant code breaking characters. But the most annoying thing about these characters is they can crack these really hard codes in no time using some form of photographic memory or drawing on past puzzle solving history yet they get to these puzzles that I can work out or immediately see and I have to sit reading while they muddle their way through.

Initially I gave Digital Fortress a little slack because I was a little too close to the subject of computers and tech news but then when I saw the same formula taking place in The Da Vinci Code, I wrote it off. I flipped through the book and saw what looked like muddling through the puzzle of Da Vinci style writing. I thought surely anyone who has taken high school Art History has heard about Da Vinci writing in a mirrored style. Then to make matters worse, when that part comes up in the movie, the writing is English! Way to stick to authentic Da Vinci style guys.

Final verdict: As entertaining as a prime-time TV show in the U.S. but not close to being worth the hype that surrounded it.

I doubt I will give him a third chance on my dime.

This upcoming Saturday, I will be traveling back the States for the first time in about 1.5 years. For two weeks I’ll be back in Tennessee for visiting family and friends but even more importantly, my brother’s wedding.

In the lead up to this week there has been a lot of planning going on over there and at some point it was asked of me to send my measurments so tuxedo rental reservations could be finalized. It seemed like a simple enough request for this modern nation I’m now living in to handle, sure I’ll would have to convert centimeters to inches, but everything else should be just as easy as back home. But once again I was handed the “au contrere, mon frère” from Japan, or maybe more specifically Aomori.

First I tried going to the local shopping center during my lunch break. How long could measurements take after all? The one catch is there are no bridal / tuxedo shops in the local shopping center so I had to make do with just the regular suit sales people. I thought surely they would have some kind of knowledge of tuxedos are measured even if they didn’t sell them. But low and behold it was just asking to be measured that threw them for a loop! I don’t know how many times I had to tell them that I needed my measurements in centimeters. First I got the run around about how Japanese suits have a special measuring system based on statistics and such. Then came the, “oh but America uses inches!” then finally after explaining what seemed like the whole plan for this wedding, they decided what I really wanted was measurements written down in centimeters…Thank you lord. But then it became apparent the guy holding the measuring tape didn’t know what needed to be measured when it came to tuxedos even though I motioned to my arm-length and neck several times. In the end I came out of there with suit measurements.

That visit was written off as a mistake due to the person just not being experienced with tuxedos. So naturally I had to seek out a bridal shop. About a week past before I was able to make it down to Hachinohe. Walking in and seeing all the tuxedos and wedding dresses gave me great hope. When I started talking to the two ladies I started getting some of the same run around the other guy gave me. However, these ladies seemed to be understanding what I was wanting a lot sooner than other dude even though it wasn’t on their list of standard services, so I didn’t run out early.

They were getting out their measuring tapes and I was about to assume the “getting measured” pose when all of the sudden they grabbed a set of tux coat and pants and told me to try them on. I didn’t exactly know how this was going to help their measurement of me, but I humored it. After they adjusted the trousers to a length they were happy with, they had me take them off and hand them out before I got back into my normal clothes.

When I came out, there they were with the coat and trousers laid out on a table using their tapes to measure them. Measuring the garments instead of the human being standing right there, that is modern age advancement. I could only watch with a polite smile as they did they did explanations of the pictures they were drawing for my measuremens in condescending style. Yet again, one can only think “WTF” and drive off frustrated.

Lucky for me I’m arriving early and can be measured in the States, because I definitely am not trusting the results of the Aomori measuring system.

Around the 4th of this month I signed a contract to stay on for the 3rd year of the JET programme. At the time there was still more of Japan that I wanted to see and still more of Japanese that I wanted to learn (a few more kids to torture?) but it hasn’t been until now that I am starting to see how much of a gamble recontracting really has become for me.

In a little less than a week’s time the Town of Shimoda, 117 years old and where I call home, will be no more. Now this isn’t quite as dramatic or cataclysmic as the nuclear plant in Rokkasho blowing up and wiping us off the face of the Earth, but it does mean that my job is in for changes, some of which could be more than I bargained for. The cause of all this ruckus is the merger of Shimoda Town and Momoishi Town to form Oisrase Town.

The first definite change is that the building that I have showed up to for work every morning for the past year and a half will now be located it what will soon be formerly known as Momoishi Town. My office and a couple of others have to be completely moved in and ready to work by March 1st along with our counterparts from the Momoishi area. Besides the actual weekend of time to move all the junk it will take from me, there also could be some drastic changes to the schedule since my office lady will no longer be making the school schedules for me…it will be one of THEIR ladies. Could be dangerous.

On the other hand Mehan and I will now be working in the same office so we can finally put to rest the shimoda vs. momoishi gang wars and get down to some terrorization of Oirase town and students. There are some pluses and negatives to this whole shebang, I’m just hoping I’m not thinking “Dear God what have I done” come August or sooner.

Last Sunday I had my last chance at getting ranked this season. To be ranked you must meet certain time goals on 2 of 3 possible tests: 500m, 1000m, 1500m. Naturally most people select 500m and 1000m, I’m no exception. This season there were 3 possible testing dates, each about a month apart. The first test, I was still getting used to the ice again and healing up from my summer injury, failed both trials. The second chance I attempted after a previous nights nomikai (intraoffice drinking party). Between the remnants of that and not lacing my skates up tight enough, I made a disasterous run of the 500m, falling several times, and was full of self-doubt on the 1000m — failed both trials. In the week leading up to the third and final test of the season, I made a new personal best on the 500m at 1:05 so I was feeling quite good going into the last test. Had been training pretty diligently, my ankle had healed completely, and I had learned to pay specific attention to how my skates were laced up. The goal was to obtain E rank (the lowest sadly) which is 500m in 1:10 and 1000m in 2:30.

Dispite an unexpectedly strong morning wind on that Sunday I was able to make the 500m trial in 1:07. The 1000m proved to still be elusive as I had a terrible start from the line and then fell down on the 2nd to last curve. I got back up as quickly as I could to finish in 2:45.

The goal this season was to get the cross-over on the corners perfected but as this season is beginning to draw to a close I still can’t say I feel too much closer to that goal. I feel like most of the beginning of this season was dedicated to building back up the muscle and endurance that I lost due to inactivity and injury in the summer. Nevertheless I’m happy that I was finally able to show some progress from last season’s best time of 1:10.

Well I still am in a slight state of shock but after almost one and a half years I have joined the legions of ALTs with internet access at their desks! When I came into work this morning, there waiting for me on my desk was a new notebook computer already hooked up to the network! No more walking down the hall to use the old “Win Me” rust box anymore. Although that was a source of new scenery on “desk work” days.

Now the question is: will I join the legions of ALTs who use their blog as a way to stay sane / awake on said office days? Well so far so good…

However, on the downside of all this I have found myself downgraded to lowly “user” status on a brand new XP Active Directory Service controlled network. No longer free to install useful (read superior) programs like Mozilla Firefox nor am I able to just shove in my USB pendrive and have access to it. As a former Administrator though, I do admire the ability of this little town to have come up with these permissions and set up. I wonder if they stayed ‘in house’ for the complete setup or if they had contractors come in to do the permissions. Regardless, I can remember the days back at “The Lab” when permissions and security were introduced and I definitely don’t envy whoever it is taking care of complaints from people today.

Today was supposed to be normal day and it pretty much was up until the very end where it sparked with moments of high adrenaline.

My first incident happened at the end of speed skating practice. The coach had his nephew and me lined up ready to toe the blue start line. He was in the middle of wondering if I could match my 1′10″ out loud when suddenly he yelled “あぶない！”　(abunai — danger, watch out!) Before I could even turn to look, my feet were swept from under me and I was falling backwards. Luckily for my head, past years of karate practice gave me the reflex to put my chin down as I fall. Double lucky when I looked down to see unknown dude’s skates had barely missed poking me in the ribs. It’s very rare for those kind of accidents to happen on this rink especially with high school students who I almost never see fall, which is good because they go super fast. In the end I thought I got out without a scratch, but as I was getting off the ice and putting away my skates I saw 1.5 cm of the very back of my right skate’s blade had been chipped off Coach says it’s not really necessary for skating but I was hoping my $500 investment would last relatively unscathed for a little longer.

To wind down the day I thought I would get some dinner at the local super market, take it home and relax while eating it. Those plans were ruined when I was taking a back alley to get home and slid a little in the curve due to the fact it had become complete ice. Surely you’ve seen in movies and TV shows where cars are able to teeter totter on edge of some steep hill? Well, my car kept sliding until the front left wheel had started down the enbankment and my back right wheel was about 2 feet off the ground. In that moment I didn’t even want to breathe for fear of giving it that last nudge to finish a 3 foot drop into someone’s rice patty. After about 15 minutes of thinking, checking stability, and futilely trying to reverse out, I was able to get out of the car without causing any more trouble. However to make matters worse I hadn’t brought my cell phone with me. So I had to run about 1.5 km to my house, got the phone, and started making calls. Initially I thought maybe there was a chance for two people to get the car out by using one person’s extra weight over the back wheel in the air but after Mehan arrived, we both decided that idea was a little too dangerous.

Luckily about that time my coach friend called me back and after explaining the situation to him in broken Japanese, he was able to get some his friends together with an SUV and tow cable and pulled me out of the ditch. The only thing I can give myself credit for is not over reacting once in the slide and getting my wheels pointed in such a way that I stopped the car from rolling futher down the hill, or worse rolling over laterally down the enbankment. Once pulled back on to solid ground, my car ran fine and it does appear to have any body damage. I’ll have to give a more thorough check once there is light to check it with. Nevertheless tomorrow I will be facing having the piss taken out of me yet again by the office. And now finally at 10:40 pm I get to eat the dinner I initially bought at 8:30

It was probably several months ago that the word アズベスト began being thrown around the office. Next many meetings lasting several hours began about アズベスト (thankfully I didn’t have to attend). When I went home at night, the evening news seemed to have a least one segment on アズベスト for a least a month. All the while I’m sitting here in the office watching these scramble meetings and seeing the attention it’s getting on the news and I can only think two things “They are only figuring this out just now!!??” and “That’s Japan.”

What is アズベスト you ask (at least those of you not in the katakana know)? Asbestos. Apparently there’s been some kind of cover-up on the whole asbestos causing cancer thing since something like 1989. Now I don’t know how they managed to do this, in fact it’s down right unfathomable that they could keep this information away from the public. Or maybe everyone has known but government just turned a blind eye towards fixing things because no one raised a stink, I don’t know. One thing is for certain though: the mess has finally hit the fan and governments are starting to take action.

One day, after one of the アズベスト meetings, the members all came back to the stairwell that I walk up and down every workday. They walked up about half way to the landing between the next floor, just high enough to reach the back of the further ascending stairs. Seeing this rather large gathering I decided to go investigate too. I joined in just in time to see one of them reach up and lightly scrape the back of the ascending stairwell and then see the resulting loose power easily come off onto his finger. アズベスト.

Holy shit. Going through my own family’s “asbestos scare” in the 80’s / 90’s and hearing about it being found and removed at various places, especially the schools, during that time I guess made me extra sensitive to the presence of asbestos. But seeing it in such a way that easily turns into an airborne powder was a little more frightening.

After the frequency of the asbestos meetings greatly subsided, little machines were sat in the stairwell. They had a clear hose running from the machine to a little nozzle at waist height on a stand. Everyone wondered what those machines could possibly be. I thought it was quite obvious they were testing the air for asbestos and when I told my coworkers they gave me the “It could be, but we won’t completely agree yet” response. Finally, at the beginning of this December, each stairwell was closed off for a one week period for asbestos removal.

I guess the fact that they decided to close off the stairwell means they did find asbestos in the air there. I probably won’t see any results of this for many years, assuming I’m even affected, but as I sit here with a slightly mysterious dry cough, I can’t help but think that Japan is going have a lasting impression on me for many years to come.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays one and all! This is my second Christmas in Japan and I don’t really have much plans. Of course I’ll talk to the fam and open presents but otherwise just gonna be hangin out, watch a movie or three, eat unhealthy christmas food of japanese fashion and whatever else hits me on a whim.

Welcome to Charlie Mac version 26.194 or somewhere close thereto!

It’s been a long while yeah? No reason really just never really wanted to sit down and write or upload new pictures. Anyway I guess a bit has happened since last August. At the end of September I went on a long 9 day trek with my friend/ co-worker all the way to Kyuushuu and back, by car. I didn’t realize how long that would be in actual car time nor how much of that car time would be spent in silence despite attempts to get some kind of conversation going. Even though I didn’t get around to blogging it, I did try to write a lot of it down on good ol’ fashion paper which I might try to go back and write up sometime. On October 12th, I turned 26 starting my slow slide down to a possible mid-life crisis that everyone seems to expect once hitting the 30 mark. In November we had our Salmon festival here in Shimoda and I have to say this year’s was a bit gloomy due to the rainy weather. However I did catch a salmon this year! And the little bugger is still waiting to be cooked up in some delicious manner in my freezer. In late November and early December I attempted 2 rather advanced Japanese aptitude tests which I think I did poorly on due to not studying kanji, the Chinese character system, enough. Finally that leads to the now where it’s quite cold and snow is on the ground.

Skating has started again and I’m back on the ice almost every night after work trying to work off all the weight I gained due to the my ankle accident over the summer. It’s quite amazing how much the muscles in my ankle area, both ankles, seem to have atrophied. Just doing warm up 3m diameter circles on the ice sets those muscles on fire with exhaustion. Despite all that it seems I’m making a decent recovery as I’ve already managed to achieve my best time from last season on the 500m of 1:10. The goal now to actually get cornering down. Some might call it the cross-over, either way it’s hard.

Well as if to prove Murphy’s Law is still in effect, New Orleans, the consulate I applied through coming on JET, has taken on the once unimaginable wallop of a near Category 5 Hurricane, Katrina. You can see for yourself in this pretty informative news clip, from one of the local New Orleans stations,the extent of the devastation.

Local News clip of devestation to New Orleans by Katrina

There’s some landmarks mentioned that are now submerged, if not completely washed away, that I remember walking to a little over one year ago as I waited for the day we’d depart for Japan. Nothing less than Shocking. The Mayor mentions toward the end of the clip that Bush and Thugs, Inc. have asked of a wishlist from him…I hope he asks that all his National Guard members and equipment be brought back from Iraq (where they never should’ve been) so they can help. They will arrive in time as this will take a long time to fix.

Failed again… life sucks. Probably will have to pay money for stupid driving school. What pointless hogwash.

Well… the test has come and gone and I have failed. There are quite a few things that surprised me. First the testing track (closed course test) is small compared to what I had imagined. So that made it all the more surprising at how much craning your neck goes through: check all the mirrors, then behind you, oh make sure to look at that side steet there, okay turn to the other half of your lane…okay do all that neck stuff again now actually turn. Then there was “the crank.” An ultra narrow dog-leg piece of road…well more like sidewalk actually…There’s so much looking in the mirrors because the course is so short that it almost feels impossible to keep your mind straight.

The other surprising part was how nice my officer was. There were all these stories of no one ever really getting an explanation of what they did wrong and plus they had to drive this old black “Cedric” car that are quite large. Well my experience was a complete 180 from that. My officer first had me get in the back seat of some slightly-above-Civic-value Honda, he explained everything that was going to happen from the starting gate, and then he drove me around the course as an example “passing” run. However now that I’ve failed I’m a little worried that my second visit might not be so pleasant

I’m not sure if I had points deducted for it, but I was a little bit angry when he said my manual shift was incorrect. He seemed to want me to stay in first gear just to get the car in forward motion and then go to second. I learned by listening to the motor and his method seems like a bad way to ruin a good motor. … and now I know why a lot of my taxi drivers lug the damn engine so much.

Now this week will prove to be interesting as today I failed my drivers’ test, 13 people from Maine have arrived for a 2 week home stay, and the new ALTs going to the neighboring town also arrived. Might be doing some driving on the sly after all…

Well the day is fast approaching but with any luck, next Wednesday at approximately 13:40:32 JST I hope to be a fully legal Japanese Driver. I say with any luck because this test is going to be hard. The Test is one of the Joys that all car driving Americans are entitled to while on the JET program for more than a year. If you are born in virtually any other english speaking country you get robbed of this Joy by paying 5000 yen and getting your home country’s license translated. How lame is that? Who in there right mind would rob a good portion of foreigners of such Pleasures as having points deducted for such minutia as ’starting a turn too far away from the white line’ or ‘not accelerating fast enough’

So maybe the more accurate thing I should say is that with a LOT of luck I’ll pass on Wednesday. I have yet to meet any American who’s passed on the first try although there is rumors of a couple. If I fail on my first attempt I might have to consider taking a driving school. I don’t know how much they cost but if it’s affordable I’ll do it. There’s not much of an option really. If I do fail I will be in quite a pickle though because my international license runs out on Aug 1st. So actually getting back to the testing center will be quite hard. The infinite wisdom of Aomori has supplied only one testing center for all of the prefecture and for us foreigners the time between 1 pm and 2 pm on days when the moon is blue and there are exactly 3 frogs croaking outside is when we can be tested.

If you happen to live in Aomori, know me, and have read this …take this as a notice that I might be requesting some car favors in the near future

Well it looks like I had to go to hospital to stop the neglect of this blog. When I say hospital is more like a fancy upscale clinic. There were no rooms as far as I could see. Anyhow the story goes that 2 Fridays ago toward the end of the business day, my co-worker starts giving me his usual teasing about my belly and tells me I should run 5 km in the “マラソン大会” (Marathon festival) on the next day. I figured if he was gonna tease me about my weight I might as well show up and give it a try.

Like everything involving sports and weekends in Japan, it started early. At 8 am I was at the park and after setup we were all ready to go at 10 am. Since this involved all the kids in our town, there was to be three heats, one for the elementary and 5 km Adults, another for junior high kids, and a third for… ah well I forgot the third. I ran in the first heat so I didn’t see much of anyone else. So there I was running 5 km with no practice or training in any of the days previous. Of course I had no real expectation of winning or even placing, the goal was just to finish. That’s the part that makes me the most angry because I almost did it.

After running (well there was a little walking after the half-way point) almost the whole distance, I was about 100 meters from the goal. Down the stretch I could see a couple of elementary kids who I skate with cheering me on. I couldn’t hear them yet but I could tell they were yelling “頑張れ！(Ganbare!)” And in the next split second my foot was on uneven ground, my weight was shifting, the feeling of a quick stabbing pain and then numbness in my ankle as my foot folded sideways, then I was on the ground. The soft crunching sound that traveled up inside my body to my ears let me know exactly what happened. Something similar had happened to me before 4 or 5 years back on my other foot and while it didn’t hurt as bad this time, I knew that it was most likely going to be the same prognosis. So I limped back to the goal and passed the tape all the while being helped by those previous cheering elementary schoolers.

The next I received the prognosis I was expecting: 2 to 3 months to heal. Godammit. So much for summer sports or exercising for the most part. I may be able to go swimming or maybe bicycling at some point but for now I’m stuck wearing this ankle brace day and night. In the mean time my co-worker has the new nickname of ‘Bastard’… and he loves it.

April so far has been a pretty boring month work wise. On the first day of the month I usually get the schedule from the office lady, Junko-san and this time is was completely blank. When I inquired to this oddity she told me that the schools wanted the students to have a period of adjustment with all the new teachers that had come in. She also said the schools would call in when they were ready. I took this to mean they might be calling in about half way through the month or so, but here we are almost at the end of April with no school visits scheduled. So what have I been doing all this time? Living for the weekends mostly.

During the week I do have Japanese lessons on Tuesday and then Japanese Calligraphy classes on Wednesday so that has kept things varied and I still got to have interaction with some of the students. The winter sport season is rapidly disappearing so the first part of the month Tsutsumi-san, my co-worker/speedskating coach, and I went to Hakkoda Mountain to get some last bit of snowboarding in. I’m still quite bad but I’ve at least gotten to the point where I can use both edges of the board when turning.

The downtime this month has also taken a toll on my body as well. I’ve already gained probably 2 or 3 kgs just from not have the constant exercise that speed skating brought me. I’m looking forward to the weather warming up so I can start running and biking.

Well as of…uh 6 days ago…we are on Spring Break here in Japan. When I say “we” I really just mean the teachers and the students, the ALT has fun filled days at the office studying Japanese, seemingly futilely. However in Japan, Spring Break is really the break in between a new school year so there has been much hustling and bustling all around. The kids all had their graduation ceremonies. I would like to tell you about them but I didn’t get to attend a single one as they were all, except one, on weekdays which I was scheduled to teach elsewhere. I wasn’t told about the one that wasn’t until the last moment and of course it was the one day I had inescapable plans. From what I hear though they are terrible boring affairs.

However this is also the time when many teachers and government office workers retire or rotate to other schools. It’s also a time when the ALT gets the “Surprise, I’m moving to another school” To which I like to respond (in my head) “Hey if you would’ve told me earlier, I might have taken you out for farewell dinner.” Actually maybe you are lucky if you get the warning. There were several teachers that I had no clue about until they were all marched into the office to say their last goodbyes to the board of education. Yes, everyone marched in, we all stood up and then lined up like firing-squad vs. targets, the teachers (aka targets) went down the line saying how long they worked here and where they were going to next etc,…and then BANG! we all bowed to each other “お疲れ様でした！(otsukaresama deshita [thanks for your hard work])” and they all walked out probably never to be seen by me again. That was a sad day because one of the teachers was one I worked with and was the one who talked to me the most.

In all this mess I find it interesting that after a week and a half of break the students will be starting their new grades, I’ll have new 7th graders and teachers to work with and then in about 3 more months it’ll be time for sumer vacation. The whole getup seems quite bizarre to have a long summer break half way through your academic year. But as their new year in school starts I have suddenly started feeling like this year has flown by. I can’t imagine just staying one year. I still haven’t gotten to do all the things I want….like spend more time in Tokyo, visit Kyoto, Hiroshima, and Hokkaido, etc. It’s good that I still have another year to look forward to.

Well I saw that a new version of WordPress came out so I decided to upgrade and thus all my previous designs have been reset. (Mind you I did back-up of course). But for now the new default theme that comes with WordPress isn’t as hideous as its predecessor so I will leave it be for now. This new version apparently has a new way of customizing the theme of one’s site so I will have to do a little research into it before I start meddling with the site design again.

Update well it wasn’t much more than a day after I update that WordPress makes the news by getting itself banned from Google. They were hiding links to some alledged 168,000 sites thus making their Google rank go up. Sadly that appears to be the result of offering software for free and then depending on ads for revenue, the ad makers will try to get you to do any dirty trick that’s possible. Sigh. Nevertheless I will continue to use it because it’s good stuff. No harm done to me so no foul.

After returning home from Korea, I was greeted the following morning with a cold water pipe in the shower that wouldn’t produce. No cold water despite the fact that I had done all the closing of water valves necessary to prevent freezing pipes before heading to Korea. Needless to say that wasn’t a good morning. In fact every morning since then has been the same: wake up extra early, get dressed, grab my onsen kit, and get to the onsen as close to the 6 am opening time as I can. (Onsen are the public baths by the way) I had begun to accept the fact of morning onsen-age before work.

So today, just as I was grabbing my onsen kit and heading for the door, I decided to check the pipe again and it worked! This is especially awesome because I have an extra early work day today. It’s good to have my shower back.